yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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