I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
