It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
