my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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