It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my being single is dangerous.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
