i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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