she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
