dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
