I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
