Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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