he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
