It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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