I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize