would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
