i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize