My hand turned me down
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
pray to the hookup gods
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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