HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
