i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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