five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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