i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
