she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
