Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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