I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize