Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
