Apparently you make a good broom.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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