dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
