Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
