Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
