if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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