Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
