Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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