new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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