You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
