Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
