I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
