he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
