it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
