You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
