Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
