Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
