Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
