Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
