The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
