You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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