clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
