I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
