She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
