Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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