You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
