Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
