i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
