how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
