remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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