maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize