More tranny stories later!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize