I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
