She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
