ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's shark week go big or go home
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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