Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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