Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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