420 ftw
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you had me at cake vodka
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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