God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Randomize
