HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
