dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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