i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
