we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
