my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
