i already hear my dad disowning me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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