YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
