She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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