i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I cockslap morals
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
