I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
