i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
