He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
