the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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