you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
