I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
