There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize