you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
