My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
