I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize