That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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